Saturday, August 23, 2008

$Dollar Menu$

I know some of you are going to view this as heresy, but here goes. Have you ever stopped to consider how a burger can cost a dollar? Or a chicken sandwich or chicken nuggets, for that matter. I realize, of course, that McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's etc.. buy in bulk. But, we are talking about a meat patty, slice of cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles and don't forget the bun. "My friends," as John McCain likes to say, you can't hardly get a slice of cheese for a dollar. With that in mind, just what kind of burger or chicken are they serving? So, next time you are at the drive-thru, stop and ask yourself, if you really want a bock for a buck.

Flatulent Fuzz


The United States has a policy (officially anyway) of not assassinating the leaders of foreign nations. Why? I realize, that where government is concerned, there is a lot of politicking and diplomacy. But, how does the willingness to send troops in to combat make more sense than just assassinating the leader of a troublesome nation? Doesn't killing one person make more sense (if killing can make sense) than sacrificing the lives of many?

Flatulent Fuzz

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Restroom Etiquette cont'd...

Restroom etiquette, a topic that knows no bounds. This just in, from the front lines.... better yet, from the Heartland of America. My very own nephew has become an unwitting victim, in what is turning out to be an epidemic in American society. Yes, that band of unkempt Neanderthals has struck again. Not only was said nephew a victim, but he was shat upon by his very own neighbor. Let's call him neighbor X. Neighbor X stopped by, under the auspices of borrowing some movies. Neighbor X has a history of borrowing movies, so there wasn't any real cause for alarm. However, when Neighbor X asked to use the restroom, a cloud of suspicion fell over him. Although leery, my dear nephew decided to grant him access to the coveted throne. Needless to say, when Neighbor X exited the sanctuary, he no longer had a cloud of suspicion cast over him. Neighbor X left the cloud and a whole lot more behind. In essence, he sank my dear nephew's battleship!

To be sure, there is some humour in this. However, I am beginning to believe, that what I once thought was my own paranoia about the social decay of society, is not paranoia at all.

Flatulent Fuzz


Over the past week or so, I have been thinking about a number of different topics. All of which, I hope to make some reasoned comments on over the coming days and weeks. However, one topic above all has catapulted right to the top of my list. Sensationalism in the media. If the media was out of control before and they were. Then, I don't know what they are now. When the likes of The National Enquirer are making the news channel circuit, we are in serious trouble. John Edwards extramarital affair is not and should not be headline news. I'm not a John Edwards defender and I certainly don't defend adultery. But, what John Edwards or anyone other quazi-celebrity does in there private life is not a concern of mine. Now, I expect this kind of coverage from The National Enquirer and Star and magazines of that ilk. However, I think that MSNBC, Fox News, CNN and the other "legitimate" news networks have more pertinent issues to cover, than the extramarital affairs of a former senator, vice-presidential candidate and presidential hopeful.

If they need a news story.. why don't they get behind the Flatulent Fuzz for President hype!

Flatulent Fuzz

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Breaking News!!

Sources close to the Flatulent Fuzz campaign say that the upstart presidential candidate is close to choosing Paris Hilton, as his running mate. The news comes fresh from the release of Hilton's hot new ad touting her energy policy and little else. Fuzz is quoted as saying that "she would positively secure his already firm grip on the moron demographic and boost his numbers among dumb blonde's." Sources say that an announcement could come as soon as tomorrow. Stay tuned!