As those of you that follow my blog know, I have suffered a great many indignities, at the hands of my co-workers. Well, as Popeye so eloquently put it, "I have had all I can stand and I can't stands no more." That pretty well sums up my attitude, at the hands of these indignities. And, it is with that frame of mind that my story begins.
Let's just say, that I was entering the restroom with a little intestinal yoga in mind. As luck would have it (enter sarcasm), I was joined by a co-worker who appeared to have the same thing in mind. I entered my stall and he entered his own and that's when things got ugly! I am quite confident, in stating that he barely had time to get his pants down before the fireworks started. Although, these fireworks didn't have that dry, crisp sound that we are accustomed to. On the contrary, these fireworks sounded wet and juicy, but I digress. Once again, I have fallen victim to the barbaric behavior, that has become so common, in men's public restrooms. Especially, the restrooms that are located within the walls of my current employ. Let me just say, either the men up here have some of the worst dietary habits on the planet or they have the most sensitive stomachs in America. Anyway, I am incensed by this needless assault and I will stand for it no more. I immediately answer his shot, with a shot of my own. Have I fallen in to the trap of lowering myself to their level? Yes. Am I feeling pretty proud of myself? ABSOLUTELY! But, in less than the time it took me to type absolutely, my pride had disappeared. Replaced by the familiar stench of failure. You see, I thought I was firing with a full clip. As it turns out, I had but one round in the chamber. In essence, the fight was over before it even began. For, as soon as I had fired my solitary round, he came right back over the top of me. He answered and he answered with vigor. And to my great misfortune, he was firing with a full metal jacket.
Is there a lesson to be learned here? Of course.
If you can't squat with the big dogs, don't get on the pot!