Another entry in the on going saga of Restroom Etiquette....
This just in guys.... When you are "taking care of business," be it at the urinal or in the stall, it should not sound like you are working out. Unless, of course, you are actually lifting weights or something of that nature. Defecation, to be sure, is a time for quiet reflection. Obviously, there may be some snap, crackle or pop, from your instrument. However, there should not and I repeat should not be any grunting, straining or heavy breathing. If you are in the crapper and it sound like you are trying to bench 250, then there is a problem. If you have to make all that noise just to drop a terd, then I recommend you pay a visit to the doctor. Maybe, you should change up your diet. Or, I hear that fiber is a many splendored thing for the digestive tract. Finally, if none of the above works, then find a private toilet and feel free to make all the noise that you like.
Last, but not least.... I would like to address boogers and the bathroom. Gentlemen, and I use the term loosely. How is it that you are sitting on the toilet next to two rolls of toilet paper, but you find it necessary to wipe boogers on the walls of the stall??? God forbid you wipe that big ole green booger on a piece of toilet paper and drop it in the toilet where it belongs. As bad as that is... it gets worse.., if not slightly more humorous. There are boogers ,on the wall in front of the urinals, as well.
I say this with all sincerity and with complete confidence in my heterosexuality... I would pay to have a picture of the Neanderthal that is standing at the urinal, with his Johnson in one hand and a finger on the other hand up his nose. I would send that picture to MasterCard and tell them that that is priceless.