Saturday, November 29, 2008


Under what circumstances, if any, is it acceptable to threaten a member of your own family with physical violence?

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Word to the wise....

As those of you that follow my blog know, I have suffered a great many indignities, at the hands of my co-workers. Well, as Popeye so eloquently put it, "I have had all I can stand and I can't stands no more." That pretty well sums up my attitude, at the hands of these indignities. And, it is with that frame of mind that my story begins.

Let's just say, that I was entering the restroom with a little intestinal yoga in mind. As luck would have it (enter sarcasm), I was joined by a co-worker who appeared to have the same thing in mind. I entered my stall and he entered his own and that's when things got ugly! I am quite confident, in stating that he barely had time to get his pants down before the fireworks started. Although, these fireworks didn't have that dry, crisp sound that we are accustomed to. On the contrary, these fireworks sounded wet and juicy, but I digress. Once again, I have fallen victim to the barbaric behavior, that has become so common, in men's public restrooms. Especially, the restrooms that are located within the walls of my current employ. Let me just say, either the men up here have some of the worst dietary habits on the planet or they have the most sensitive stomachs in America. Anyway, I am incensed by this needless assault and I will stand for it no more. I immediately answer his shot, with a shot of my own. Have I fallen in to the trap of lowering myself to their level? Yes. Am I feeling pretty proud of myself? ABSOLUTELY! But, in less than the time it took me to type absolutely, my pride had disappeared. Replaced by the familiar stench of failure. You see, I thought I was firing with a full clip. As it turns out, I had but one round in the chamber. In essence, the fight was over before it even began. For, as soon as I had fired my solitary round, he came right back over the top of me. He answered and he answered with vigor. And to my great misfortune, he was firing with a full metal jacket.

Is there a lesson to be learned here? Of course.

If you can't squat with the big dogs, don't get on the pot!

Flatulent Fuzz

Friday, November 21, 2008

Hard Work & Dedication

Our country was founded through hard work and dedication. What happened to those principles? How do the people that lack those principles manage to flourish, while those that value those principles have so little to show for their effort?

These unprincipled free-loaders are standing on the sidelines watching us work and reaping the rewards just the same. Want proof? Look no further than the corporate world. In the corporate world (at least the corporations that I have first hand knowledge of), people that continually under perform are not handed a pink slip. Instead, they are allowed to continue to under perform. All the while, those that have a work ethic are tasked to do more and more. Not only do we take on those extra tasks, but we do so without a word of protest. Am I missing something? Are these slackers bullet proof? Have they cast some kind of spell over us?

For those that might not know, the corporate world functions on the principle of "the bottom line." CEO's and COO' s, vultures that they are, will do anything necessary to pad the bottom line. Isn't that obvious by the number of jobs going to foreign countries? But, the one thing they will not do is fire those that are not pulling their weight. Why? Who has more impact on the bottom line, than those that are doing the grunt work? I can't think of a better way to improve the bottom line, than trimming the fat.

Why won't they can the dead weight? Because, we are a nation of coddlers. How's that, for the bottom line. That's right, we coddle. How many times do we hear about someone that has been arrested, for driving while intoxicated, four or five times? What about someone that is frequently tardy? If there isn't any serious disciplinary action, isn't that a green light to continue to be late. But wait, the coddling epidemic is not confined to the corporate world. Not by a long shot.

How many campaign promises go unfulfilled? How many corporate bailouts will we have to endure? How long will we continue to allow people to abuse the welfare system? Why is there even a welfare system? We coddle the government and they turn around and coddle us right back. They bailout multi-billion dollar corporations and they offer monthly checks to those that are too lazy or lack the will to work. We, vote them in to office and pay their salaries. Occasionally, we pretend to be tired of being disappointed by our representatives. So, we vote for "change that we can believe in." And, the vicious cycle continues and we continue to give our support voluntarily or involuntarily.

Somewhere along the way, we (those that possess a work ethic) have allowed the free loaders to dictate the rules of the game. We're working hard and I'm not sure that we have anything more to show for it. I'm not suggesting that we join the loafers. I don't follow the "if you can't beat them join them" mantra. Even if we can't beat them, I'm not going to join them. However, I don't think we have attempted to defeat them. Perhaps, the evolution was so slow that we failed to realize it was happening until it was too late. Maybe, we have too many responsibilities to really take the time to try and wrap our heads around the magnitude of the problem. Or, have we subconsciously been towing the company line? Which is, of course, coddling.

I'll wager that we have been subconsciously towing the company line. This phenomena didn't happen over night. We have been conditioned, over the years, to accept business as usual. Just like we have been conditioned to accept politics as usual.

Unfortunately, we cannot rely on upper-management or our elected leaders to resolve this problem. Ultimately, it is going to be up to us to start expecting and demanding more out of our fellow Americans. At the local level, corporate level and the federal and state level. If there is ever going to be any accountability, it will have to begin with us.

Friday, November 7, 2008

I'm Back.

I'm back! At least, I think I am. I think that I have been MIA, for almost two months. I really haven't felt inspired to post. But, I think I feel the fires rekindling.

For starters, I'm not sure whether I am amused or in disbelief over people's reaction to President Elect Obama? For the record, I did not support Obama or McCain. In fact, I voted almost 100% Libertarian. But, that's neither here nor there.

What perplexes me, is the naivety of a good portion of the American people. I'm seeing t-shirts that have a picture of Obama, with the words progress below him. On TV, they are saying that we are going to see change. Now, by-and-large, these are celebrities of some form or fashion. I have considered the source. However, I don't believe for one second that they are the only ones that believe that Obama represents change and/or progress. Are people really that naive? Or, do they hold some obscure definition of change and progress? Ladies and gentlemen, I am hear to tell you that the kind of change and progress this country needs is not going to come from a Republican or a Democrat. The sooner we all come to that conclusion, the sooner we can wrestle the country back from elephants and asses.

Obama does seem to have inspired a great number of people. I think that that is fantastic. This is indeed an historical election. However, that is exactly the kind of narrow minded thinking that has led us to the edge. People should look no further than the nearest mirror, if they want to see where the source of real progress and change spawns from. Obama is not the saviour. If we truly want progress and change, we have to be personally responsible for the fate of our nation.

I think it is funny that people laugh, when you tell them that you voted for a third party candidate. They say things like, "why did you even vote" or "they have no chance of winning." On the latter, I say they are absolutely right. As long as the people that are laughing continue to mindlessly support republicans and democrats, a third party candidate isn't going to have a real chance. They should be laughing at themselves, however. How can anyone continue to put their support behind either of the two major parties? I challenge those people to take a look at where our country is at right now. Now, think back to all of the major party senators, representatives and presidents of the past 100 years. They have repeatedly shown that they are not fit to govern. And those that laugh have continued laughing and blindly giving them their support. What if they called a plumber out to do a job for them and the plumber did a crappy job (pardon the pun). Would they turn around and call him back out, whenever they had another plumbing problem? I for one, would not.
Why did I even vote? Because, I firmly believe in showing support to parties that want to govern this country as it was intended to be governed. Let's send the elephants back to the circus and the asses back to the pasture.

Flatulent Fuzz